Dog with a Gripe

Alright I have some gripping to do. Yes, dogs generally are forgiving and mans best friend. But most dogs haven't heard the story The Call of the Wild. We are only half way through but I've learned a lot already. First of all, people books are gruesome and second a dogs got to do what they've got to do. Today this dog has to gripe.

My day started like most others I bark at the owner for two hours to let me out. She is a hard sleeper but this isn't my gripe I'm getting to that. Then she gets up wakes the kids, lets me out, feeds me, and runs around the house doing who knows what. While I play with the kids in between the mom calling them. She'd make a wonderful herding dog.

Then she stuffs me in the kennel before leaving the house. I think, oh it's another one of these days. So I lay down and reminisce about the summer of chasing kids and riding in the van. Then chew on the bars for a bit. Going on to nibbling on my tail, the darn thing gets a bit itchy. And my day drags on. Then in comes Pipers owner. She takes me out and I am with Piper outside it's fun at first then it's kind of an irritation. Why does she get the longer leash? It's my land! I'm in charge here I should have more running room. Grrrr.

The kids soon come home and it's my favorite time of day. There's running, cuddling, wrestling, screaming and barking. All out wild time.

Then my owner gets home and doesn't give me a how do you do. Just goes in with bags. Bags mean food!  I'm E X C I T E D.  I've been nearly wasting away while Piper tells me all about her owner feeding her at noon and giving her treats for sitting. My stomach is gurgling and I'm thinking of the dog in that book taking down the pain in the butt dog. But I keep it to myself as I bark at my owner but nothing. So I lay down and try to ignore my sister pouring out stories of going here and there with her owner. "My owner would be lost without me" Piper barks happily. Ugh. Despite my irritation we play wrestle and drink out of the same water bowl. She's my sister after all. I'll forgive her this time.

Me and Piper a little tangle (always someone to untangle us- we have them trained)

What I'm having trouble forgiving is what happens next. My owner walks out with food. In my bowl and what does she do? She pours some of it out for Piper first. First!! Did she learn nothing about dogs in that book? I'm Top dog here and should be treated as such. Sure I got more than Piper, sure I got the actual dish but she went first. Come on!! That is my gripe. Who wouldn't be upset?

That's not all. I heard something a while ago about my name but I didn't understand it. Well I do now and it's got me all kinds of upset. They named me after another animal. My owners favorite animal. I suppose you all already have guessed what it is. Well good for you but I just today found out what it is and what it looks like. I may not look like a golden lab but I certainly don't look like an elephant either!  This is a picture of me on the day they got me do I look like an elephant?

Ok so I am a little wrinkly but those will iron them selves out. I'll give it to you that my nose curls down a little but come on. What? the ears too?? No! I don't look that much like an elephant. I look like a dog. Period.

Now that I have let it be known that I too can complain. I'm ready for a romp around the house and am going to try to lick every ones face in one night. The kids are easy it's the mom that will be a challenge. I love my family BARRK!

Doggy Kisses all around
Ella

Nemisis

Did I mention my nemisis the gueinea pig? Sally Allen Cookie is her name and she lives the cooshy life. She lives in a three story cage. The let her do her busness in the house without a word from them as they clean it up. If I did what she does I would loose my ear drums for the rest of the day. They coo at her and do her bidding before she even bids it.

She does have her "horror story" that she enjoys telling over and over. About the owner taking her to school. The owner even let all these strange children pet her. Oh how aweful for her, getting attention... yah right. She claims that she nearly had a stroke for all the handling. Uh hu. Sally grins pretty smuggly for being upset over it. Darn that rodent trying to make me jealous. What is worse is that she tells me that I look nothing like a golden lab or a mastiff. What does that mean I asked her. "Your not gold" she tells me with a squeaky laugh "and your not massive". You could have knocked me over with a feather. NOT GOLD!! I know I'm not massive yet. I'm a puppy. But how can I not be gold. My hole self image is getting reviewed all because that rodent had to break it to me that I wasn't gold. I was quite happy in my color blind world before that. Then she sits preening combing her long hair with her long teeth. "Rodent" I barked " Being clean doesn't make your time worth a darn if you can't be out in the garden digging in the weeds with the mom or chasing the kids across the gravel driveway. Clean means nothing around here. Being with the family does." Sally turned without another squeak and went into her tiny cave. Just the thought of playing outside made me all quivery and my tail slapped in excitement.  Nope none of  that clean business for me.

Not that the owner hasn't tried to get me clean. They've tried giving me a bath a few times. It's a nightmare! Cold floor, water poring out of a spout of shiny stuff with a dog looking back at me, the water makes an unnatural sound as it pounds down. Then to top it off the owners made me WET! The gaul. They then proceed to put smelly squishy stuff all over. I'm ok with the squishy part it's that pungent odor of clean that gets my dander up.

When it's over I try my best to run the scare out of my system and a bonus getting wet stuff out of my ears. I take that back the best part are the giggles I get as a run excitedly through the house. They can't get enough of my charizma.

It really doesn't make any sense. I showed everyone that same fun outside one day and they haven't let me out of the house without this orange leash since. The poor owner cringes every time I pull on the leash. If only she'd take the hint and go where I want her to.

For example She took me outside and wet stuff was falling from the sky. Never seen the like before in my life it was crazy.  Even after my whimper of shock from the cold and sharp tugs on the leash to go back inside she refused to move until i did my thing. She must be nuts! I couldn't believe the nerve of her. She even made me go out into it twice more. She even knew that it was craziness to stand out in it but there she stood waiting for me to do that thing. rrrrr.. I hope that falling wet stuff wasn't her idea of a joke. Because I'm not amused.

Stay Drrry
Ella

My set up

Yah Hoo!! I'm not home alone today! The family is home. The mom looks a little worried and hasn't let me run the house all morning but I have still gotten outside time and she just happened to put me near one of the kids toy four wheelers and a glove. Score! Love out door time fresh air, sniffing to do and warning others off my property. Which as they are all finding out is anywhere I can see from my yard. Yes I am the princess of the block. Oh I may get made fun of about my flowered collar and orange leashes. No one said my owner didn't have a style all her own. But the other dogs just tease because they don't have the wonderful set up I do.

First off I have owner with three kids that's in the middle of a divorce. So it's distractions city for her. She's a little on the strict side when she is paying attention but for the most part she is running in circles and is fun to follow around. The kids are all kinds of fun to. The oldest boy is the one for ruff wars. Tug of war fun! The middle is a girl and don't let her sweetness fool you she knows what she is doing. She's great at the cuddling but you had better listen when she tells you to do something. Sit? Yes'm salute. The youngest boy has the yummiest ears ever made and he isn't too bad to run after either.

Anyway my favorite place is under the desk it's my home cave and the kids are not allowed. My favorite foods are hot dogs (even if they are stuffed with medicines), crackers and drier sheets. Woof!

I've even been taught a few things, that you get less grief if you pee outside, pooping in the bed room is the best revenge, that they love it when I sit on command, I understand what come means but I have my own initiative so I tend to ignore that command. Things I don't understand are why I would want to give them the ball if they were just going to throw it again and why I can't have table foods. The mysteries of human nature I suppose.

Have a Bow Wow of a Day!

Ella
@11 weeks old