Nemisis

Did I mention my nemisis the gueinea pig? Sally Allen Cookie is her name and she lives the cooshy life. She lives in a three story cage. The let her do her busness in the house without a word from them as they clean it up. If I did what she does I would loose my ear drums for the rest of the day. They coo at her and do her bidding before she even bids it.

She does have her "horror story" that she enjoys telling over and over. About the owner taking her to school. The owner even let all these strange children pet her. Oh how aweful for her, getting attention... yah right. She claims that she nearly had a stroke for all the handling. Uh hu. Sally grins pretty smuggly for being upset over it. Darn that rodent trying to make me jealous. What is worse is that she tells me that I look nothing like a golden lab or a mastiff. What does that mean I asked her. "Your not gold" she tells me with a squeaky laugh "and your not massive". You could have knocked me over with a feather. NOT GOLD!! I know I'm not massive yet. I'm a puppy. But how can I not be gold. My hole self image is getting reviewed all because that rodent had to break it to me that I wasn't gold. I was quite happy in my color blind world before that. Then she sits preening combing her long hair with her long teeth. "Rodent" I barked " Being clean doesn't make your time worth a darn if you can't be out in the garden digging in the weeds with the mom or chasing the kids across the gravel driveway. Clean means nothing around here. Being with the family does." Sally turned without another squeak and went into her tiny cave. Just the thought of playing outside made me all quivery and my tail slapped in excitement.  Nope none of  that clean business for me.

Not that the owner hasn't tried to get me clean. They've tried giving me a bath a few times. It's a nightmare! Cold floor, water poring out of a spout of shiny stuff with a dog looking back at me, the water makes an unnatural sound as it pounds down. Then to top it off the owners made me WET! The gaul. They then proceed to put smelly squishy stuff all over. I'm ok with the squishy part it's that pungent odor of clean that gets my dander up.

When it's over I try my best to run the scare out of my system and a bonus getting wet stuff out of my ears. I take that back the best part are the giggles I get as a run excitedly through the house. They can't get enough of my charizma.

It really doesn't make any sense. I showed everyone that same fun outside one day and they haven't let me out of the house without this orange leash since. The poor owner cringes every time I pull on the leash. If only she'd take the hint and go where I want her to.

For example She took me outside and wet stuff was falling from the sky. Never seen the like before in my life it was crazy.  Even after my whimper of shock from the cold and sharp tugs on the leash to go back inside she refused to move until i did my thing. She must be nuts! I couldn't believe the nerve of her. She even made me go out into it twice more. She even knew that it was craziness to stand out in it but there she stood waiting for me to do that thing. rrrrr.. I hope that falling wet stuff wasn't her idea of a joke. Because I'm not amused.

Stay Drrry
Ella